Navigating Tantrums: The Science Behind Meltdowns
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Hey Reader! First…would you pause and pray for us? We are headed to Georgetown today to setup for our Central State Conference tomorrow and Friday! Thank you! Now…let’s get into some brain science! Have you ever tried to reason with a three-year-old who is having a melt-down? How did that go for you? Probably not well! There is some amazing brain research that actually helps us explain why that is and what we can do instead! First, let’s talk about the fact that we have “upstairs brain”, the higher-level thinking areas of our brain – literally at the top and front of our heads. This part of the brain is analytical and sophisticated. It helps us think before we act, concentrate, show empathy and self-awareness. We also have a “downstairs brain”, the primitive, reactive part of our brain that is located at the back and bottom of our head. This part of the brain controls our survival functions (breathing, blinking, heart-beat) and it is also the fight-flight-freeze center of our brain. Can you guess where a three-year-old tantrum originates? For preschoolers, the “upstairs brain” is just now developing. They have only been on the earth for a few months so they have not had the experience, the training, or the time to be able to transition from that “downstairs brain” to the “upstairs brain” easily. They are LEARNING to do that with us! However, their “downstairs brain” is highly-developed at birth so they are GREAT at reacting without thinking, having emotional meltdowns, and running away when they don’t know what to do! This is what actually comes naturally to them (again, because their “upstairs brains” are just now starting to develop. This is just the beginning of supporting the “whole-brain child”! We also have a left brain that is very logical and linear. This side thinks in words, it’s where we do math, sequencing, and facts. The right brain, on the other hand, visualizes in feelings, holds our imagination and creativity. As adults, we are able to move fluidly between our right and left sides and between our “upstairs” and “downstairs” brain. Children cannot. Our responses to them day-in and day-out will build those neural connections across brain hemispheres and eventually help them to access the logical left-side at the same time that they function out of their “upstairs” brain so we can reason with them. Until then, be patient, connect on a heart level as much as possible, and pray that the Lord would fill in your gaps for each of the little disciples in your care. Luckily, God has also made our brains highly resilient and capable of learning and re-learning skills throughout our lives! If this sounds interesting to you and you’d like to dive in a little deeper, we have a course in our course library called “Teaching the Whole-Brain Child” that goes through 12 steps to help children make those brain connections in moments of meltdown and HERE is the Amazon link to the book!
Cheering you on this week! -Your ECCN team
Colossians 3:16 “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.” |
